


if you

by goldavn



Category: NU'EST, Wanna One (Band)
Genre: 2Hweek_day2, 2hyun - Freeform, M/M, mcountdown backstage, twohyunweek, wanna one second win
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-12 01:31:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15984734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldavn/pseuds/goldavn
Summary: wanna one and nu'est share the stage for the number one spot and minhyun doesn't know what to feel.





	if you

**Author's Note:**

> quick little disclaimer;  
> even though this night DID happen, all of the events in this piece of fiction did NOT - i changed/imagined up some of the interactions to fit the narrative i wanted to tell. 
> 
> this is also a post in conjunction with [2hyun week.](https://twitter.com/twohyunweek) make sure you check out the tags and the collection to fuel your 2hyun feels!
> 
> let's begin ~

Even after six years Minhyun just can’t seem to adjust to the nervous butterflies in his stomach and the shaky hands that come with standing on stage, waiting for the number one spot to be announced. He should be feeling hopeful and excited about the potential of getting their second win, but he just can’t. Not when his NU’EST members are sharing the stage with them as well. It’s not that Minhyun isn’t happy to be with Wanna One – in fact, he loves it possibly more than anything else in his life right now. The media is pegging Minhyun as unhappy with his position in the group – calling him depressed and ungrateful of the second chance he was given by the national producers. Minhyun knows this and he wishes he could speak out and say that’s everything but the truth. Minhyun loves his fellow members, he’d rather not call them members but _brothers_ \- _brothers_ that are nothing but supportive and filled with unconditional love for each other and the stage. But there is a single person who is above everything for Minhyun.

_Kim Jonghyun._

Minhyun makes a glance to his right, making sure that Jonghyun is still standing next to him and that the audience in front of him is real and not a dream or fantasy.

If that wasn’t bad enough, he and Seongwu were the designated MC’s for the music show. So, when it was Minhyun’s turn to introduce the next group and he glanced at his cue cards, seeing the letter ‘W’ after his other groups name, his eyes glazed with tears that just couldn’t be helped. After seeing his hesitation, Seongwu took over Minhyun’s lines. Luckily, he was able to make it seem as though they were his lines to begin with. When the camera cut away from them and rushed over to start capturing the group performing on stage, Seongwu had taken a step towards Minhyun. He’d reached out his arm, patting the taller male on the back gently, being careful to treat him with care. The boys of Wanna One know that Minhyun wouldn’t give up his position in their group for anything. However, they are aware of the effects of the media on a person’s heart and mind, not to mention that because of this Minhyun cannot help but feel useless, and as though he has betrayed his NU’EST members by taking a spot one of them should have had instead of him. The feelings are fleeting but they take a significant toll on his health, causing him to have indecisive and saddening thoughts behind closed doors.

Now that all the boys have gathered on stage for the final part of the night, Minhyun feels the burning emotions within him even more so than earlier. As they wait for the signal that they are live to announce the number one spot, he feels a slender hand snake into his; gripping it tightly. He turns to his right and sees Jonghyun’s sweet sparkling eyes staring at him with the utmost affection. 

“Hey, relax okay? It’s just a show Minhyun” Jonghyun whispers and Minhyun swears he can smell that stupid bubblegum flavored chewing gum his hyung would always chew on. Minhyun can merely nod his head at him, sniffling as he squeezes Jonghyun’s hand back. The lights flash back onto to the stage, Minhyun and Seongwu’s cue to start the announcement of the night's winners.

Out of instinct the boys all huddle closer, shoulder to shoulder. As they announce the top two, Minhyun swears he can feel the earth stop. Hearing the words Wanna One and NU’EST come from Seongwu’s mouth in the same sentence almost makes him believe that he _is_ indeed dreaming. The two groups share surprised faces and claps as they link hands with each other. Minhyun is trying his hardest to hide the thoughts racing through his mind, he can’t let the media use this moment against him. So, when Seongwu continues to announce that Wanna One is the winner, Minhyun freezes. He feels Jonghyun’s warm arms wrap around him in a congratulatory hug, rubbing his back and petting his neck with his free hand. Minhyun wants to but can’t bring himself to return the hug, opting for a brisk smile before he is asked by Jisung to make a speech. He can’t even remember what he said but Energetic is starting to play for the encore and he feels Jonghyun’s arms release from him. It feels exactly the same as when he came to the realization on Produce 101 that he had made it in, however, Jonghyun, Dongho and Minki had not. He can’t do anything about it apart from watch the NU’EST members walk off the stage, smiling so widely for the group they are nothing but proud of. As the encore stage comes to end, the boys rush off stage full of tears, smiles and their second trophy in hand that they’ve earnt as a newly formed team.

Minhyun who is still delirious thinks he is imagining Jonghyun approaching the boys. He opens his arms, eye smile lighting up his face. The younger boys run at him, enveloping him in a group hug. As the boys back off from Jonghyun and begin their journey back to their dressing room, Minhyun and the other male are left alone. 

“I’m so proud of you Minhyun-ah” Jonghyun says, smiling that same affectionate smile from earlier.

Minhyun doesn’t know if it’s his praise or his mere being that makes his tears fall. He feels the wet tears fall one after the other, slowly but steadily not wanting to seem to stop. Jonghyun places a hand on the back of Minhyun’s head, lowering the taller man so he’s resting comfortably on Jonghyun’s shoulder. Jonghyun is shushing him, comfortingly whispering into his ear.

“Why are you crying?”

Minhyun slowly turns his head so that he’s facing into Jonghyun’s neck, allowing his fists to grip onto the back of Jonghyun’s shirt.

“I’m just so, I just –“ Minhyun tries to let the words form but nothing can come out apart from gulped sobs. Jonghyun continues to pat Minhyun’s hair, letting him get out the emotions he’d been bottling up since months ago.

“I just miss you so much. I hate that I have to pretend that you don’t –“ he gulps, choking out the end of his sentence, “– exist.”

Jonghyun sighs and leads him to a seat by one of the big curtains, offering Minhyun a clean handkerchief to wipe his tears and blotchy foundation away.

“I know Minhyun-ah, I know it hurts but look… I’m right here,” Jonghyun says. His voice is so soft and gentle – exactly how Minhyun remembers it. Minhyun dares himself to look into Jonghyun’s eyes and it’s hard to miss the pain reflected in them.

“Do you see the stuff they post about us… about me?”

“It’s what the media does Minhyun. They see a star and make it their goal to make it’s light dim and run out, don’t let yourself be a target.” Minhyun sniffles, feeling drowsiness wash over him from the constant crying. 

“It’s not like I stand here and encourage them to go for it. I did absolutely nothing wrong,” Minhyun whispers. “I look at myself some mornings and feel so guilty that it’s me in this position and not you hyung. After everything you went through, you deserve it so much more than I do.”

Jonghyun sighs and takes Minhyun’s hands in his. “You are deserving of this position Hyunie. Because of you, our team has been given a second chance and that’s all we ever wanted.”

Minhyun tries to smile, but it feels empty. “You should stop lying, hyung.”

“Do I look and sound like I’m lying, hyunie?” Jonghyun cups Minhyun’s cheeks, encouraging Minhyun’s gaze to meet his.

“We love you,” he whispers, letting his lips graze against Minhyun’s, not fully pressing down to make contact. Minhyun keens into the touch, letting his grip consciously drop from Jonghyun’s wrist.

“I, love you.” Jonghyun plants a kiss on Minhyun’s cheek and he doesn’t want the moment to end, but with the pattering of footsteps growing closer, they have no choice but to end the moment abruptly.

Jonghyun moves away but stays close enough to help Minhyun up and to remove any left-over signs that he’d been crying. The staffs walking by nod at them knowingly but say nothing, and Minhyun’s thankful.

“Come on, let’s get you back to the others.” Jonghyun links arms with Minhyun, leading him towards the hallway that holds all the groups dressing rooms. Wanna One’s is at the end of the hall, and Minhyun doesn’t want to let go.

“I’ll call you tonight, promise me you’ll put your brave face on until then?” Jonghyun says, holding his pinky up for a pinky swear. They’ve done them since pre-debut, since the days of their youth they spent training all hours of the morning – putting their bodies through painful stress. 

“Promise,” Minhyun says, locking his pinky with Jonghyun’s.

“Bye, Hyunie.” Jonghyun walks away, somber smile and all and Minhyun can’t let him leave just like that.

“Wait!” Minhyun says, halting Jonghyun. He turns, expectant for what it is that Minhyun has to say.

“Hyung. I love you too,” Minhyun says, cheeks insanely hot.

“I know Hyunie, I know.” Jonghyun grins.

Jonghyun turns and Minhyun watches as he walks towards his own dressing room, leaving him alone in the long corridor. A single tear drops down onto his cheek, and he can hear the dressing room door behind him opening.

“There you are Minhyun we-“ Seongwu begins asking where he had gone off to but is taken back by the wetness on his cheeks.

“Everything okay?” he questions, but Minhyun tries to wave him away. Seongwu wipes the leftover tear from his cheek, and gently rubs the foundation splotch to blend in again.

“Come on, we can talk about it later.”

But they won’t talk about it later, Seongwu knows that. But at the moment, he knows this is what Minhyun needs.

Comfort.

Support.

Even though his moments of weakness are fleeting, he knows they should be treated with care because it is obvious how much he is loved by the members and he knows how much of a burden it is to hide feelings away in order to protect the others. He understands and Minhyun’s thankful that he doesn’t have to do anything but say “okay” and Seongwu accepts it. He knows how much Jonghyun means to him and he couldn’t be more thankful to have such caring brothers, such a caring second home.

Minhyun takes his arm in his and they link up to head back inside the room to meet the rest of the members. He’s met by a warm body hugging him the minute he steps foot inside.

“Hyung,” Woojin whines as an overly excited Daehwi is jumping around him.

“He’s trying to put eyeliner all over my face.”

Daehwi tries his hardest even with Woojin burying his head in Minhyun’s chest to protect him from the eyeliner pen. It’s Minhyun’s crazy family that is his warm security blanket, and despite the tear in his heart, he knows this is for the best for now and it’s something he would not give up.

And most of all, he realizes Jonghyun will be waiting happily for him and that’s more than enough for Minhyun to strive onwards, only on the flower path all fifteen of them deserve to be on.

It may not be forever but the memories and feelings are worth it in the end because he's earnt the second chance he'd been wishing for and dreaming of.

He was _not_ going to give up easily.

**Author's Note:**

> here are some links to my [writing twt,](https://twitter.com/goldavnao3) [stan twt,](https://twitter.com/jisungverse) and my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/jisungversecc) for any of you who are interested ♡


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